“In any bureaucracy, paper work increases as you spend more and more time reporting on the less and less you are doing. ”
(This quote from Kafka kind of reminds me of blogging and social media in general, actually)
I studied politics as an undergraduate and graduate student.
One of my favorite subjects during graduate school was the Theory of Public
Administration, in other less lofty words, the study of bureaucracy. It’s
strange, I know, but everyone has their thing and my thing just happens to be
exceedingly dull (though also pervasive and very important from a quality of
life, accountability and (in)efficiency standpoint). Bureaucratic theory is
much less sexy than studying power or public policy processes or political campaigns. I
think there was only one other student, a good friend of mine, who actually
enjoyed all of the readings and came to class with a visible excitement to
discuss them. We eventually bonded over our love of bureaucratic theory, mostly
because we see its importance and have a great desire to improve it in
practice. I actually wrote my thesis about bureaucracy…yup, big nerd right here.
I find bureaucracy endlessly fascinating, though I very much
hate dealing with it in the day to day grind. Everything requires you to
talk to a web of people, all with different responses to your questions and
different pieces of paperwork to fill out and send back.
My life on land was becoming overly bureaucratic. First there
were all the steps required to finish graduate school. You think when you
defend your thesis you’re done? You’re not. Then came the bureaucracy
associated with selling off our belongings, especially our cars. In the State
of Washington, they require no less than six separate pieces of paper to
transfer ownership…not to mention all of the steps required by the credit
agency to release their interest in the vehicle after I had paid them what I
owed.
I was also attempting to change my last name on all of my
legal documents, something that I should have taken care of more immediately
(we had gotten married a year prior, after all), but I kind of like letting the
universe tell me when it’s time. When I left my bright yellow wallet on the
roof of my car at Dairy Queen and drove away and failed to discover that I didn’t
have my wallet until I tried to buy something at the grocery store – then it
was time for me to change my name on my driver’s license and credit cards. When
I was selling my car – then it was time to update my name on my title and registration. When
we were ready to embark on an out of country trip – then it was time to get a
new passport.
There were also some things that I hadn’t quite anticipated.
I was not anticipating a drunk college kid running his bike into my car (that I
was trying to sell) and having to a) go through the legal system to recoup money for the big dent where he slammed his large, drunk, 6’2’’ frame and b) spend time with my insurance company filing and resolving the claim. The IRS
was also after me for quite a lot of money because I screwed up my taxes in
2010. They claimed I owed them $6,000 (in a year when my taxable income hovered around $16,000 –
total…I’m still trying to wrap my head around that one) and I had to convince
them that I actually owed them a lot less than that. Interacting with the IRS
requires an awful lot of paperwork and an awful lot of research to understand
not only the tax code, but how I (and TurboTax) screwed up my 2010 tax return.
I’m still dealing with the IRS, but I owe them much less than they first
proposed (now we’re just haggling).
In April, in the midst of this bureaucratic marathon, I
recall telling Jeff that I needed out. That this boat trip was as much about
escaping bureaucracy as it was about anything else. I was sick of membership
cards and passwords and customer service phone calls and refunds and every inch
of bureaucracy that we have to wade through just to get the simplest things
done these days.
Jeff was shocked by this epiphany because I’m usually the
one who will gladly pick up the phone and hash it out with six different
customer service reps just to rectify the smallest mistake or injustice. I was a bureaucratic
warrior…but I was growing weary of a system where I had to restate my name,
phone number, address, social security number, date of birth, member number for
each new computer or person who picked up the phone. It’s a game of endurance
and one person simply cannot compete.
When we arrived in Aquatic Park in San Francisco we took our
time getting settled before contacting the harbormaster. When I finally spoke
with her on the phone she asked if I had already filled out the application. “The
application?” I inquired. There is one full page of rules that you must abide by
if you want to enjoy the benefits of San Francisco water front, as well as a
one page application that you must print out, sign and return (which is harder
than you think on a sailboat). The harbor master called two hours after she’d emailed me the application to see if I had filled it out already. Luckily we have a data plan and a printer…which
made a quick turnaround possible.
Filling out some paperwork really is an infinitesimal price to pay to stay in
this amazing location right in the heart of this beautiful city. And honestly it wouldn’t
have stressed me out if I hadn’t lost my wallet (in the Bay) that very morning.
Totally worth a little paperwork. You can see the Golden Gate Bridge off in the distance.
Suddenly, I was faced with making at least five phone calls and filling out three forms to replace the contents of that tiny wallet. Not to mention,
I also had a response due to the IRS (my third) by the following week and I’d
just finished updating our boat insurance policy.
As I donned some snorkel gear
in a failed attempt to retrieve my wallet (in 18 feet of freezing cold water
with a pretty steady current), I nearly lost it. Was I naïve enough to think
that we could really escape the paperwork and processes that keeps our modern
economy humming? As long as we want to enjoy certain aspects of society without
giving the finger to the people and societies that make the rules, then bureaucracy
will very much continue to be a part of our life.
One thing you’ll come to learn about me and Jeff is that even
if we complain about the rules, we follow them out of deference to the people
behind those rules. We don’t ascribe to the “pirate” mentality. I am more willing to “bend” the rules, but Jeff does a
pretty good job of keeping me in check. He is a cop’s kid after all, and I, the wife of a cop’s kid.
Escaping bureaucracy is a myth, at least for us. I’m quickly coming to the realization
that we’ll simply be trading one bureaucratic experience for another, but I’m
determined to see them less as obstacles and more as adventures, adventures in
bureaucracy (doesn’t this just scream excitement!). Bureaucracy can say a lot about a place and the people who inhabit
it. Much like food, music and literature it is a reflection of culture and history. Since I’m of the mind that we can’t escape bureaucracy (call me a defeatist
if you will), I’ll be curious to see how it changes as the geography changes.
For grins – this showed up in my google search for “escape bureaucracy quotes” (which yielded so many awesome quotes, you should try it out):
“I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut…I don’t need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don’t need to bring ink and paper into this. I can’t imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, ‘Don’t even act like I didn’t get that doughnut, I’ve got the documentation right here…It’s in my file at home…Under “D”.
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